so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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