That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I wish you could order shots online.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
