Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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