Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
