garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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