I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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