u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
