Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
