i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
