you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
