It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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