So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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