Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
