Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize
