I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
My liver just had a heart attack.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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