is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
