the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
