Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
