I think my fart just growled at me.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
