he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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