On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
