not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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