she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Someone shattered a urinal.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize
