we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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