I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
