u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
