Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
