Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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