I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
