i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Just took my morning after pill in the library
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
