Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
