Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
