Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
