I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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