so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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