Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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