Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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