addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
