thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Sorry about my life...
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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