just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
