You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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