How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
