he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
