Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
