So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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