This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
