I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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