All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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