got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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