It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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