I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
